The Shepard
by angy02
Summary: AU. John met Kaidan in his sister funeral. He gave Kaidan the support he needed after having lost the woman he loves. Between the two emerged a beautiful friendship, which gradually became, love, but someone who they believed was dead was very much alive
1. Chapter 1

After giving the speech at the funeral of his sister John give the microphone to Anderson, so he can give his speech as he sat with his mother holding her hand. Looking straight ahead, he saw a man who sat back; his eyes were full of tears. That man looked sadder than all the rest of the crew of his sister. Suddenly their eyes met, and John felt a deep desire to give comfort to that man. After the funeral, everyone was slowly leaving except for that man which he saw approaching his sister coffin. "Mom you can go home I'll go in a moment."

"Son it something wrong?"

"No mom I just want to stay a bit more... you know I want to say goodbye to my sister alone." John lied he wanted to talk to that man.

Hannah Shepard stroking his son's cheek, "Son you are all that I have now ... I love you. I'll wait at home. "

"I love you too mom."

After his mother walk away John approached his sister's coffin. "Hello." John salutes to Kaidan, realizing that he was deeply affected by the death of his sister. John felt a lot of sadness, but he knew that his sister would not have seen him collapsed. Also, he had to care for his mother, who needed him now more than ever.

Kaidan quickly wiped away his tears, "Excuse me I was leaving." John tried to turn around to leave.

John stopped him grabbing his arm," don't go. What's your name? "John let go his arm.

Kaidan let out a sigh," Kaidan Alenko I used to work with your sister. "

"My names are John Shepard. You two were very close? I only ask because I notice that you are more affected than others."

Kaidan looked at the man for a moment hesitating, almost no one knew of the relationship that he had with Jane. "I-"

"Hey," John noticed his hesitation," I'm not Anderson, or my mother I'm not going to judge you. There was a relationship between you and my sister?"

Kaidan rubbed his neck nervously, "yes ... she was everything to me now ... I... I don't know what direction to take in my life without her." Kaidan said unable to hold the tears a moment more.

"Hey," John without hesitation put his arm behind his shoulders, "don't be like that I know it's hard but you can overcome it."

"I don't know I..." Kaidan sigh, "excuse me she was your sister you must be suffering too."

"Yes, and I will miss her, but as I told my mother Jane was a happy woman she would not have liked to see us like this."

Kaidan looked into the man's eyes he had the same color eyes as Jane,"thank you."

John pulled away a little," my mom and I have a meeting at home in honor of Jane do you want to come."

"Thanks, but I prefer to be alone for now, "Kaidan said.

"I understand can you leave me your address I would like to see you, to know how you are. If my sister chose you as a couple, it's because you're a good man." After sharing their address and phone number the two men left the cemetery.

* * *

A month later the two had become very good friends. John called him almost every day to see if he were doing okay, but the last two days he had tried to call him and Kaidan didn't answer his calls, so he headed to his apartment. He knocks on the door, but no one answered. After a moment, John was able to open the door forcibly. Inside the apartment was a mess it was empty food boxes and beer bottles everywhere.

"Kaidan," John shouted out but got no answers. Then after a few minutes he was able to find Kaidan's room. Kaidan was lying on bed drunk with a picture of his sister in his hand. John realized that for the beer bottles that were lying on the floor and the strong smell of alcohol in the room.

John let out a sigh, and began to clean the house. He started to throw all that garbage out. It was the first time he came to Kaidan's apartment, and he couldn't deny it was very elegant despite the mess that he had. It was obvious that Kaidan was very depressed, and John wasn't going to allow him to sink into depression for some reason, despite the short time they know each other John had taken affection to Kaidan. The two of them had seen a few times, for lunch or dinner in Apollo's cafe, and John realized that Kaidan was a lovely man.

Now he understood why his sister fell in love with him, because knowing his sister, for her to jumped regularization against fraternization it was because she felt something more than just an attraction for Kaidan. John understood why the man was handsome he would do the same; thankfully John wasn't commander he is Lieutenant he didn't have the responsibility that his sister had. There was something about him that Jane was the only one who knew it, John Shepard didn't like women he always felt attracted to men. Even though he never had a serious relationship with anyone, looking at Kaidan, why not? John liked the man since he saw him in the cemetery, yes he was his sister's ex-boyfriend, but she was gone. He remembers that his sister had many younger boyfriends, but he always respects her relationship she had. If he had met Kaidan while she was alive he never would have dared to put their eyes on Kaidan

After cleaning everything John headed to the kitchen finding sufficient ingredient for a good soup. After putting everything on the stove he headed to Kaidan's room.

"Kaidan." John shook him by the shoulders

"Oh," Kaidan woke up clutching his head. "John what are you doing here?" Kaidan said confused.

"You were not answering your calls, so I came to see if you were okay, but it look like you are not okay, so get up to the bathroom you need a shower so that you sober up." John said firmly

"No, leave me alone I want to be alone." Kaidan said his voice was hoarse.

"I will not leave you alone Kaidan. Now you'll get of the bed by you own, or I'll take you to the bathroom myself."

"Why do you're helping me? You don't see I want to be alone. John I don't want to be awake," Kaidan said shakily. "I miss her John too much I can't stand her absence ... I want to be with her. I want to die!" Kaidan cry out with tears in his eyes.

"Stop Kaidan you don't know what you're saying." John grabbed him by the arm forcing him to get out of bed.

"Let go of me." Kaidan yelled.

"No!" With effort John could achieve take him to the bathroom, there John undress Kaidan.

Kaidan look at John in the eye. "Why?"

"For her," John turned on the water letting the water fall on him." Now do you want me to lather you too or do you want to do it yourself," John said with a beaming smile on his lips and with the soap on his hand.

"I do it!" Kaidan said quickly then he grabs the soap.

"Good, I'll go check the soup I am preparing for you; I'll wait in the kitchen." John said firmly going out of the bathroom to the kitchen.

Half an hour later John was serving the soup. He saw Kaidan get out of his room looking around the apartment then headed towards him. John couldn't deny that the man looked handsome.

Kaidan approached John smelling the soup, "Smells great," then he grabbed John's hand squeezing. "I'm Sorry."

"It's not me that you have to apologize is to yourself, what you're doing is not right," John said covering Kaidan's hand with his. John still could see an immense sadness in his eyes.

"I know but," Kaidan sigh, "It's hard, when I'm with you or other people I can forget my pain a little, but here alone the memories will not let me live."

John touched his cheek, stroking it with his thumb, "so I will not leave you alone, I'll stay here with you," John said then turned away from him grabbing the dishes and taking it to the table.

"What?" Kaidan asked John with a smile on his lips he could not deny that he liked the idea.

John looked at him smiling, "you have a beautiful smile Kaidan."

"Thank you, but-"

"I'll stay with you; you have another room in which I'll stay until you're well, and is out of discussion now sit." John demanded.

Kaidan shook his head thinking that he was like his sister, they never take a not for an answer. Kaidan sat with John at the table. John loves talking with him, about the missions he shared with his sister. How crazy Jane used to drive the Mako. John also hear him talk about Ashley, and how their relationship began.

"You do not have a girlfriend John?"

John thought for a moment before answering. He didn't have anyone that was worth it. "No, and I don't like women Kaidan." Those last words he said looking at Kaidan straight in the eyes.

Kaidan stared at him intensely for a moment, "there isn't anything wrong with that."

"You've never been with a man Kaidan?"

"Once, but then I met Jane, and I fall madly in love her. I don't know if I can be with anyone else." He said in a low tone.

John got up from the chair putting his arms on his shoulder, "you will," he whispers to Kaidan's ear then he pulled a beer from the fridge. "

"Where's mine?" Kaidan asks him.

"You will drink water for you today; tomorrow I'll take you to a place where you will drink a lot of beer. "Thanks John."

"Do not thank me, thank you for making my sister happy."

* * *

John never had so much fun as he was doing those days. It had been six months since he went to live with Kaidan. Kaidan was better he wasn't crying now he laughed and smile. The two had gone to dance a couple of times. John almost never left him alone, only when he goes to see his mother, who was also very sad. Today John had convinced Kaidan to accompany him to see his mother, and he accepted. His mother received with love.

"You are the man who has my son so happy in those months?" John's mother said seeing the way his son looked at Kaidan.

Kaidan blushed, "I'm?"

"Mother ... Kaidan and I are only friends, plus I don't like -"

"Men! Son I 've never seen you with a woman, and it's not because you're ugly if you are one of the most handsome men I know, so I know for sure what you like, and it's OK with me. Now you both maybe want to deceive themselves, but I can see how you to look at each other, and that's more than a friendship. "

John looked at Kaidan, who stared back with a smile. "Mom I love you."

"I love you too, you know Kaidan." Hanna looked at him. "Is the first time I see my son smile so much as he does now."

"Mom's not true, I always smiled at you," John said kissing his mother on the cheek.

"I'm glad I can make you son smile because he has been an angel to me. I lost someone, and he helped me to move on, your son is wonderful. "

"Yes Jane was also wonderful." She lowers her gaze to the floor, "I miss her."

John quickly grabbed his mother hand, "mom please I don't want to see you sad."

"You're right. Is late and I have to get up very early."

The two said goodbye to her and then went to their apartment. Kaidan took a six pack of beer to his room. "Do you want to join me John?"

John bit his lips when he saw Kaidan remove his shirt tossing in bed. He takes off the belt, shoes, and staying barefoot, then he sat on the bed leaning against the back of it. John did the same immediately sitting down beside him. Kaidan gave him a beer. "Your mom is lovely." Kaidan said leading the bottle to his mouth.

"What she said about us, Kaidan's true I like you a lot." John said looking at him with love, because deep down him knew that he had fallen in love with Kaidan. Everyday John enjoyed his company more, and when the two were in their training he was counting the minutes to get to the apartment and see him. It was the first time he felt that way. He asked himself if his sister felt that same way, they were twins, so the two had the same tastes. But what he was feeling for Kaidan was much more than a taste, it was serious, it was real. He wanted something serious with Kaidan Alenko.

Kaidan turn his face meeting with John's lips close to his, "me too." John ran his tongue over his lips looking Kaidan's lips. He touches Kaidan's cheek seeing him close his eyes." Can I kiss you?" John asks him.

Kaidan response was to take his lips to John's kissing him with passion. "You're wonderful John."

John laughed, "I wasn't, but when I first saw you with those beautiful eyes full of tears, I felt the need to hug you and give you comfort, your put a spell on me from day one."

Kaidan laughed breaking the kiss, "I don't believe you, you seem a man of much experience, for someone like me to have spell on you."

John kiss Kaidan's shoulder, "I don't deny I've had many lovers before, but no one important to me, like you do. I know you still in love with my sister, but she is gone."

Kaidan put a finger on John's lips, "don't talk about Jane. John I am not a man of adventure."

"I didn't say I wanted an adventure with you." John grabbed Kaidan's hand taking it to his lips, "you inspire me tranquility and future."

"We can't forget the reaper John, that danger is still there."

"I know, Anderson informed me all, when the time comes we will have to finish what my sister started."

"John."

"Tell me."

"Do you want me?"

"How do you ask that? That's like asking a child if he wants a toy. "

Sure John wanted him; he was tired of cold showers, which he takes almost every day. John bit his lips remembering the other morning Kaidan left his door open while changing, they room was one in front of the other, so John could see him naked for the second time, but this time he could see clearly, how sexy he really was making him run to the shower.

"I also want you John." Kaidan said leaving his beer on the floor and kneeling on top of him, and then he removes the beer of his hand.

John moved his hips moaning when he felt Kaidan's lips on his neck. He spent his arms around Kaidan's back rubbing his back slowly. Then Kaidan kiss him with passion. John stared to the buttons Kaidan's pants. He could feel the need in Kaidan's kisses, but John didn't take any more, he raised him, laying him down on the end of the bed eagerly unbuttoned his pants.

Kaidan like John were unbuttoned his pants, in minutes they were both naked. John was kissing every corner of his body as he felt the caress of Kaidan's on his back.

John had never wanted anyone as he was doing now, he could feel his body tremble with his touch. Kaidan moans were driving him crazy.

"Do you like it Kaidan?"

"Yes." Kaidan like John had never felt anything like it, yes he could not deny that Jane's touch drove him crazy, but not like those of John.

John lowers down to his cock, grabbing smiling listen him moaning loudly. He passes the tip of his tongue over the top of his cock, then introduced fully inside his mouth sucking him off hard.

Kaidan try to control his groan, but he couldn't do it, John was giving him the best blowjob of his life. John ... yes like that ..."

John leant his cock back licking the back of stroking the top with his thumb. "You're big Kaidan I like it."

"Fuck John ... please ..."

"Please what?" John asks him raising his gaze to Kaidan while rubbing it.

"I want you to fuck me."

John moved on top of him. "Do you have lube?"

"No."

"Okay I'll improvise."

" Handsome, sexy, charming, and funny," Kaidan sigh," you're perfect. "

"I am not Kaidan, I have my flaws."

"What are those flaws?"

"I am extremely jealous of what is mine, and from today you are mine."

"I am jealous too John."

"I'm very passionate, and I don't like to hide my feelings I am very expressive."

"I can manage that."

"Good ..."

John positioned himself, and squeezed his cock driving pre cum, spreading it on his cock. "Ready?"

"Yes!"

John throw in Kaidan hard moaning loudly Kaidan's ass was tight. "Fuck Kaidan you're too tight."

"It had been a long time John..."

John grabbed his two legs moving faster, "Oh ... fuck this is so fucking good." Then he leant on Kaidan kissing him with passion while his fingers tangled Kaidan's hair. The two heavily moaned. Of all the lovers, John had none of them had made him lose control that way. Then he felt Kaidan grabbing his cock rubbing. "Let me," John grabbed his cock quickly rubbing.

"John …fucks."

John brought his lips to his neck biting him, then sucking him, he was about to cum. "Kaidan-" but John felt Kaidan's cock filled then Kaidan cum in his hand, while he entire spill his load inside his ass.

John stayed on top of it until her breathing was calming down, enjoying the touch of Kaidan's hand on his back, and his kisses on his shoulder. With his other lovers, he never felt what he was feeling now complete. "Do you fell asleep John?"

John lifted his head, smiling, "not I just enjoyed your touch ... The night is just beginning."


	2. Chapter 2

"Jane," John call out looking at his sister that looked like a ghost, her face scarred. He had heard rumors that his sister was alive, but neither he nor Kaidan believed until now.

Jane looked at his brother, and Kaidan," Kaidan. "

Kaidan was in a state of shock," Shepard I... we were thinking that you were dead."

"I was clinically dead it took two years for Cerberus to brought me back," Jane tried to explain to them.

"Cerberus! Sister you work for Cerberus?" John asked his sister shocked, if he remembered correctly his sister hated Cerberus.

"John before you judge me listen to me, Cerberus is the only one who is doing something to save the Colonies. I would do anything to stop the collectors and prevent them continue taking the colonies; the Alliance turned they back on me... I need you two."

Kaidan approached her. "I never would work for Cerberus you know that very well."

"Kaidan." Jane tried to touch him.

"Do not touch me Jane." Kaidan said sharply moving away from her.

"Kaidan I still love you, please stay with me I can use you," she begged him.

"Jane," Kaidan look at John who didn't dare to look at him," I suffered too much for your death, but I move on."

"What do you mean?" Jane asks him. She saw the look Kaidan and his brother shared for a moment. "What the hell is going on between you two?" No answer. "Garrus you know anything about this?" She asked Garrus.

"Spirits Shepard, don't ask me that."

Jane approached his brother." John Shepard you're fucking my boyfriend? "

John face paled "Jane ... you were dead." John says with tears in his eyes he loved his sister, but he also love Kaidan more than anything in the world. The two already had been together a year. Last night John proposed to Kaidan, and he accepted.

"Oh, I can't fuck believe this, Kaidan what the hell?" Jane shouted.

"Shepard we have to report this to the Citadel. John let's go."

"No, John you're my brother, you can't leave me alone."

"I'm sorry Jane, but I also don't, work for Cerberus." John followed Kaidan hearing his sister scream a lot of things to them.

"Kaidan-"

'John, please no now. "

"Wait," John grabbed Kaidan's arm, "Kaidan tell me this will not change our relationship."

"John last night I accepted to be your husband because I fall in love for you like crazy, how can you ask me that?"

"I'm sorry; you love her and now-"

"Now nothing, I'm not sure that's Jane, and if it her is over, or you intend to leave me now that you know that your sister is supposed to be alive."

"No, Kaidan I... I love you too."

"Okay, then let's go with Anderson, we'll talk about this later."

* * *

Jane entered the CIC furious staring at Joker with fire in her eyes. "Joker you knew that my brother was fucking Kaidan?"

"Shepard ... I... shit, yes."

"Why the hell did not you say anything to me?" she yelled with frustration.

"Shepard it was not my place to tell you that."

"It was Joker, you're my friend. I don't understand Kaidan and my brother, how that happen? Kaidan is not gay because he and I slept together."

"Oh, yes we know that Shepard. I don't think he is gay, I think he likes them both. God this is confusing."

Jane did not understand anything Kaidan loved her because he told her before her death. "How did they meet?"

"I went to see Kaidan one night, and who opened the door was your brother. They met at your funeral, your brother supposedly helped Kaidan in his pain over your death."

"Well, it seems that he helped more than he should do so. Joker how serious is the relationship between them? I know my brother is a player."

"Shepard-"

'Tell me!" She screamed with frustration.

"As serious as a heart attack they live together in Kaidan's apartment Shepard, and your mother approves."

"Oh hell no, I will not let this go Joker, Kaidan Alenko is mine I love him."

Jane was moving impatient for the CIC, she had to do something, Kaidan was all that she loved, but she knew that now her arms were tied. She had to end this mission. She remembers how Kaidan use to love her as nobody had ever loved her before.

His brother was something she did not understand, John has always been a bohemian man, who liked to play with men. She did know that John was gay, but mess with Kaidan she don't understand that, he wasn't like the kind of man that his brother used to frequent. Kaidan didn't like the bars, or the easy life that his brother used to live. Right now she felt a desire to kill his brother, but also she felt happy to have seen him. She loved John the two were twins, and maybe that's why he likes Kaidan, they had the same taste. Many times she came to like the occasional boyfriends of his brother, but they were all gay like him, besides the two respected the relationships that each of them had.

She miss Kaidan touch on her, the tender way in which he used to love her, the way Kaidan blushing. Now she would not know what to do without him. Jane blinked the tears from her eyes. She has to be strong, and be done with this mission, and then the two would know who she is.

"Fuck this shit. Joker put course to the Citadel, I need to talk to Anderson."

"Shepard."

"Yes Edi."

"The Illusive man wants to see you."

"Tell him I'm coming."

"Shepard you are going to be okay?" Joker asks her.

"Yes, this was only a fucking remembers that I lost more than two years of my life," she said heading out of the CIC.

* * *

They came to Anderson's office. All the way back John could see Kaidan estrange, but he did not blame him, he was feeling estrange too and happy at the same time. See her sister alive caused him joy, but also he felt afraid. John knew his sister, and she would not leave it like that. He would not lose Kaidan. Before entering the office john grabbed Kaidan. "Marry with me."

"John you asks me that last night and I said yes."

"No, today I know of someone who can marry us."

Kaidan looked at John with surprise in his eyes, " my love why? We both were in agreement that we would do it when this is over."

John sighed then grabs Kaidan's cheek, "You know my sister she will try to separate us, I can't lose you, Please Kaidan."

Kaidan felt the despair behind those words, "Okay John if that makes you feel better we will, but first let's go talk to Anderson."

John kissed him intensely." God I love you Kaidan. I do."

"I love you too John. Now let's go inside."

"I will fuck you like crazy tonight Kaidan."

"I'm counting in that, tonight I need you more than ever John."

"I know, let's go inside."

They entered the office, "Anderson."

"I've been waiting for you two."

"You know the Shepard is alive Anderson?" Kaidan asks him.

"Yes, she came to see me, but I could not say anything to you two."

"Anderson is she really my sister?"

"Yes John is her Cerberus paid a fortune to bring her back. She asked me for you two."

"Anderson what now?" Kaidan asks him.

"You both are being promoted to Major."

Both were surprised, but the best thing is that they will have to work together. Kaidan was assigned to Grissom academy with John. He wanted the two to train the biotic division.

"This is not common, the most common would be the each get assigned a different task, but both of you are among the best biotic I know, and with the threat of the Reaper you better prepare those guys."

After touch basic with Anderson, they left the office that information change their plans.

"Damn Kaidan this changes our plans, we can't get marry, or the Alliance would separate us."

Kaidan grabbed his hand, "Let's go with your friend, nobody has to know that we got married."

John smiled, "then what are we waiting for?"

* * *

John stood in front of her sister's cell while Kaidan was talking to the defense committee. John didn't know what he would say to his sister, he paced back and forth while the guard was standing at the door looked at him the weird way.

"Can I help you? Wait, you have a relationship with Shepard."

"Shepard is my sister, my name is John Shepard."

"Oh, now I understand the similarity, my name is James Vegas. Shepard told me about you."

"Good things I hope.'

"Well, most times ... she... well, no."

John laughed, "I can imagine."

"Now I'll let her know you are here."

"Wait," John took a deep breath, "she's in a good mood?" John saw James laugh. "What's so funny?"

"Oh, man, Shepard in good mood that is never going to happens, so get ready."

"Shit." John waits outside until he came out. "She does not want to see you."

"Oh, the hell with that" John entered the room." Jane."

"Get out John; I do not want to see you."

"No, Damnit Jane, you're going to listen to what I has to say." john demanded.

"Listen to what? How you took from me the only man I have loved John Shepard. "

"Jane you were dead."

Jane approached his brother. "You could have any man you wanted John, why Kaidan?"

"I ... I saw him mourn in front of your coffin, and I wanted to support him. I did not know I was going to fell in love with him, Jane."

"Love, you! You do not know what love is."

"You're wrong I love him sis, and I love you too, you are my sister. Your death affected us a lot." John said sadly.

"It seems that my death brought you good luck."

"Do not say that," John said sadly, "I miss you, mom was very ill and Kaidan-"

"Do not mention it to him, if you love me so much leaves him."

"I can't Jane." John said quickly, in that he was very clear, he could not live without his husband.

Jane looked at his hand noticing his ring; she grabbed his hand, "What's that?"

"Jane-" John was interrupted with a slap on the face. He grabbed his jaw. "I deserve it that, do you feel better now?" John saw her turn around. He knew that she was suffering, and hurt him deeply be the cause of her pain.

"I love him John. Kaidan made me the happiest woman in the world. Why the hell I had to die."

John couldn't take it anymore he hugged his sister tightly, leaving her crying on his shoulder, "if I could turn back knowing you were coming back, I swear I never have dared to put my eyes on Kaidan."

"He told me he could never love anybody but me, he lied to me."

"Jane-"

James interrupted them. "Shepard the defense committee wants to see you."

Jane turned away from his brother, "My why?"

"I don't know, they just tell me to take you."

The three left meeting with Anderson who informed them that Admiral Hackett was mobilizing the flotilla. "Why?" She asks him.

"I do not know something big is coming our way."

John looked at his sister it wasn't hard to know that Anderson was referring to the reaper. John saw everyone mobilizing fast. Then he saw his sister arguing with Anderson about the reason that they captured and degraded her. After a time, they came to the resection. John saw Kaidan coming out of the room towards them. John joined him with Anderson.

Anderson greets Kaidan. He saw Jane. "Shepard."

Shepard turned quickly, "Kaidan," she approached them.

To all this John was trying to be professional, but he could not help but feel jealous, seeing the way his sister looked at Kaidan.

"How was with them Major?"

"I don't know; I'm waiting for orders now."

"Major," Jane said with surprise.

"Yes, you had not heard, the two were promoted."

"Sorry Shepard, it had been a long time."

She looked at Kaidan deeply," Is okay, isn't that you knew that the reaper were coming, and you did not tell me Major. "She said bitterly.

John jaw drop he knew that his sister could be a bitch, but that was cold. After she left with Anderson, he noted Kaidan tears in his eyes. "Kaidan."

Kaidan looked at his husband. "Sorry, it's hard she used to mean so much in my life, and now she hates me."

"She hate us both, Jane slapped me in the face when she saw my ring."

"Oh Shit."

"Wait, you're Kaidan?" James asks him.

"Yes how you know my name, and who are you?"

"Lieutenant James Vegas, I have been in charge of Shepard, she has a picture of you, but now I understand why she speaks so badly of you two." James had noticed the look that the two shared.

"Kaidan what we going do now?"

"Wait for her in Anderson, then-"

The three were interrupted by a bang, and they were thrown into the air. After a while of chaos, John got up grabbing his head. "Kaidan ... James" John shouted.

"I am here John."

The two met with James, they only had very minor injuries. John looked toward the conference room. "What the hell is going on?"

"Reaper John."

"Jane." John was started to run to the conference room

"No," Kaidan stopped him. "The road is blocked, we have to go to Normandy.

"Damnit."

"Mother of God, look they're destroying everything." James shouted looking out.

They ran watching everything in its path get destroyed by the reapers. The ships were destroyed by their lasers, people burned by them. There was husk everywhere attacking everyone, big or small, it was hard to see.

* * *

After sending an emergency signal, they communicate with Kaidan and Normandy. They had to defend themselves from the cannibals, who attacked them without stopping. Jane saw the Normandy come from afar, "Anderson let's go," She shouted. They both ran toward the ship. Jane jump toward the Normandy.

"Welcome aboard Shepard," Kaidan greeting her John was else behind covering with James.

"Thank you." Jane directed his gaze to Anderson that was still outside, "Anderson came on." Jane looks to one of the emergency shutters.

"I'm not going," She looked at Anderson with confusion, "you saw these men. It is a million like them. They need a leader." Anderson said pointing to the side.

"We are in this war together Anderson." She screamed at him.

"It's a fight we can't win, not without help. We need all species, and all their ships to have the slightest chance of defeating the reapers. Talks with the council. Convince them to help us."

"And if they don't listen?"

"Then make them listen. Now go! It's an order."

"I don't take orders from you. Remember?" She replied

Anderson pulled a dog tag from his pocket throwing to Jane, "Consider readmitted, Commander. You already know what you have to do," Anderson said, looking at her from afar.

"Jane looked at the dog tag, and then looks at him," I'll come back for you and I will bring all the fleets I can" She turned to go inside the ship, but before she turning to look at Anderson." Good luck. "

"You too Shepard."

Jane went up the ramp slowly looking at Kaidan; the two looked at each other with the same feeling of sadness and anger inside. Jane turned to look outside. She saw at child getting into a shutter, to be blown up by a laser. She closed her eyes for a moment.

She's warned everyone and no one listened; now Earth was burned, thousands and millions were dying, and she has to leave Earth to go play political, but Jane would do the best she could do. She had a mission and she was going to fulfill.

Jane was Commander Shepard; she was alive to stop the reapers. She entered into Normandy looking at Kaidan, but between the two there were an enormous distance that neither dared to say anything to each other. She looked at her brother who was looking at her with the same sadness in his eyes. She knew that John thought as she does.

After talking with Admiral Hackett, Jane told Joker to head for Mars. In the locker room while they were getting their armor, the tension between then was strained, but nevertheless despite everything, Jane felt safe having her brother with her.

In the shutter neither spoke. James could feel the tension between then. Jane headed to the shutter door giving Kaidan a quick glance. She remembered how close they were to each other before she dies, and now it as there was a barrier between them.

Jane could sense his brother nervous about the situation, she could also see the looks that they were shared, Kaidan looked at his brother with the same look of love that once gave her, it was making her mad.

Throughout the mission on Mart Kaidan challenge her. The first encounter that they had was Cerberus agents.

"Those were Cerberus agents?" James asked.

"It seemed liked Lieutenant."

"Cerberus, what are they doing over here on Mars?"

"I don't know Kaidan, is that what you're asking." Jane couldn't believe that Kaidan still doubted him.

The four continued, and after battle again agents of Cerberus, they reached the elevator. Jane headed to the control.

"Shepard I need a straight answer."

Jane touched his helmet in the front. "Kaidan."

"Don't Kaidan me Shepard; this is business," Kaidan said angrily pointing his finger at her. "Do you know anything about why Cerberus is here?"

"Kaidan does not interrogate my sister I'm sure she has nothing to do with this."

Jane opens her eyes wide. Kaidan has never spoken to her like that. She turns around to face John. "Leave it brother," she looked at Kaidan," What makes you think that I know what they're up to?"

Kaidan turned to the railing of the elevator, leaning on it, "you worked for them, for God's saints. How I'm not supposed to think that?"

Jane approached him, "we join forces to take down the collectors. That was it."

"There's more to it. They rebuilt you from the ground up. They gave you ship resources." Kaidan directed his gaze to the floor.

"Let me be clear, I have not had contact with Cerberus since I disable the collector base. I have no idea why they're here now, or what they want?" Jane said next him.

"Commander Shepard has been under constant surveillance since coming back to earth. There is no way they have been Communique since." James explained to Kaidan.

"Sorry Shepard is just that."

Jane walks away from him then he removes her helmet, and look at Kaidan. "Your of all people should know what I'm about Kaidan." Jane looks up Kaidan with discomfort in her eyes. It hurt the accusation of Kaidan deeply.

The elevator opened, and they walked out. Jane looked at him, "please Kaidan trust me."

"I do. I am sorry I didn't mean ..." A noise interrupted him, and all three were covered back of the mako.

The noises were coming from the air vent. Liara was inside, fighting with Cerberus agents. After seeing her jump and finish the Cerberus agents, James drew his gun toward her.

"Easy Lieutenant, she is with us," Jane said getting closer to Liara.

"Thank the gods you're alive," Liara said.

"Liara."

"I was worried, with reports coming in. They hit earth hard."

"Yes, it was hard to leave like this." Kaidan said, approaching them and looking at Jane.

"I'm sorry, but ... Why'd you came here?"

"Anderson ordered me to come; she says you know what's going on." John said.

"I do," she said, moving away from them towards the window.

"Hallelujah, answers, finally." James said.

"I discovered a plan for a protean device, one that could wipe out the reapers."

Jane ran to her. "Here? On Mars? We know about the archives for decades. Why now?"

"Elimination process mixed with a little desperation. When you destroyed the alpha relay you bought us time, but then you got put under investigation, I knew I had to do something," Liara explains. She crossed her arms, "Hackett knew too, he contacts me, asking me if I could use my resources as shadow broken to find a way to stop the reapers. My search brought me here. Hackett gave me access to the archives and kept me up to date on your status. I meant to come see you, but... "

"I think your work here is a bit more important." Shepard said.

"I guess you're right. Either way my work pays off. The archives are filled with data from an overwhelmingly amount. I think I found what I needed."

"I guess I'll believe it when I see it. Where we find this weapon?"

"It's not a weapon ... Not yet, is plans for a device, a blueprint."

"It's more than what we had one minutes ago. How we get it?"

"The archives are just across, that tramway." Liara he indicated by pointing out the window. "Assuming it to Cerberus not locked, yet."

"What they're looking for?"

"For the same reason that we are here for us, for the only reason the archives..."

"Why?" John did not understand I wanted Cerberus, what were his motives this time.

"The prophets came close to destroying the reapers. They had a plan to destroy them, but they ran out of time."

"And something powerful enough to destroy the reapers ..." Kaidan began to say to approach them.

Just maybe it's something that Cerberus might be interested in. "End John said, and they both stared.

"So is a race to the archives," James says.

Jane ordered James to be returned to the Shutter, in case the lock agents to flee. She followed with the other forward

They continued forward and continue fight more Cerberus agents, the three arrived at one of the rooms, where they found the video of what had happened in the Archives, with scientists that they had found lying on the floor dead in the cafeteria. Dr. Eva was the cause of everything.

"I should have realized when I got here, but I was so focused on finding a way to stop the reapers." She said a little overwhelmed.

"Stopping the reapers is the only thing we should be focused on. It's not your fault." Jane said.

"But what if we're wrong, What if there is no way to stop them? What if this is our last day and we're wasting on nonsense."

"Come on Liara."

Liara approached her, "I know I should not think this Way. I do not know how you do it Shepard?"

Jane looked at Kaidan, who was standing in the doorway of the room with John. "When there is so much at stake, I just think about what I would lose if I failed." She said these words in a loud tone, so Kaidan hear.

John saw Kaidan turn around, and look at her. He quickly turned Kaidan's face towards him, "no, focus on the mission Kaidan; she will do this just to annoy me.

"That's a terrible excuse," Liara said crossing her arm.

"We'll stop Liara together ... Let's go."

Jane left the room staring at them with anger; it angered her how they both showed affection whenever they had the chance.

After passing through a machine gun, and fight again with Cerberus agents they came to another room, where Liara try to log in to the train lines, but Cerberus had it blocked.

"It seems that they made it to the Archives," Liara said after watching the imagines where Dr. Eva killed soldiers of the alliance.

"And I doubt they send us a train," Kaidan said.

John looked at him a moment, before looking at Liara, "you can override it?"

Liara is moved to one of the consoles, "no, the archives are in different network they have us completely locked out."

"Not if I can find a short range helmet communicator helmet to helmet, and we convince them that we are on them side, tell them that Alliance forces have been taken care of." Kaidan said.

"Good idea, go see what you can find." _Shit that's my man_. John felt the penetrating gaze of Liara and her sister on his back. "What?"

"The Major is to become very capable," Jane said a little jealous.

John glanced over to where Kaidan was, and turned to look at her, "yes he has," he told his sister daring her eyes. His sister was starting a war that he thought of winning.

"Shepard, I found something," Kaidan, yell.

Jane headed to where he was, "what do you find?" She asked him.

Kaidan was checking the helmets in one of the bodies of a Cerberus agent, "he has a transmitter in his helmet, if I can ..." Kaidan takes off the helmet revealing the face of the agent, then he stood up, backing up, "my God he looks like a husk."

"Yes, not quite, but they definitely did something to him." Jane says ducking, and reviewing the body to find the transmitter.

"And by them you mean Cerberus, they did this to their own guy? This what they did to you? Kaidan asks Jane a little confused.

"How can you compare me to him?" She responded with anger.

Kaidan walked away from him, "Shepard I don't know what you are? Or who ... Not since Cerberus rebuild your," Kaidan directed his gaze to the floor raising his shoulders a little, and letting it fall again, "by all that I know, you can bet their puppet, controlled by the illusive man himself. "Kaidan turned around to face her. His eyes were full of tears

"Kaidan-"

"Don't try to explain I don't think I understand anyway," Kaidan wipe the sweat from his forehead with the palm of his hand and approached her, "I just want to know if the person I followed to hell and back, the person that I used to loved is still there somewhere? "

Jane smiled and grabbed him by his shoulder, "they didn't change me Kaidan, or how I feel about you, but the words are not going to convince you, will they?" John looks into your eyes.

"Possibly not."

"I don't think so, you've always been stubborn."

"Enough Jane," John said angrily.

"What brother, do not you trust your husband?"

"Jane John knows very well who that I love, but just in case I'll leave it very clear, what I feel for you is affection, for all those moments you and I live together, but it's over. I love John."

'"Shepard."

Liara interrupted what Jane was going to say to Kaidan. She was going to say how much she still loved him despite everything, despite her brother, but his words get caught in her throat. She could see the anguish in Kaidan's eyes.

* * *

A while later, after having reached the archives, and found the illusive man, who with the help of Dr. Eva take part of the information the they needed. Jane was standing watching Dr. Eva grab John by his neck.

"Let him go." _You fucking bitch, don't you fucking dare_ ... Her hands were trembling as never before had trembled. She heard her take orders over her Comm, of the illusive man.

Jane felt his world collapsed when he saw her throw John against the shutter, "no." Jane shouted, but it was too late. She heading towards her, and without thinking, Jane discharges her gun at her then she started running toward John that was lying on the floor.

She approached his brother, but Kaidan pushed her away. "John, Please my love ...no ... No ... no" Kaidan immediately pick him up.

Jane looks at Kaidan she could see the tears in his eyes, the same tears that she had in her eyes. She loved her brother after all.

"Shepard we need to go now ..." Kaidan cry out.

"Shepard reaper force approach we need to go." Joker told him over to the Comm.

"Let's go."

They entered the ship with direction towards the med bay Kaidan Lay John in bed. He removed his helmet grabbing John hand. "John hold on Please hold on," Kaidan looked at Jane," we have to go to the Citadel. "

"You're not going to give me orders-"

"Shut up Jane, don't you see your brother being badly wounded, in the Citadel he can receive medical attention, so stop with those damn jealous and do what you have to do."

Joker you already listened to Major Alenko."

"We are on the way, Admiral Hackett needs to see you and the Comm room."

"I'm on my way."

Kaidan was left alone with John, he sat in the chair he took John's hand to his cheek. "I love you my love, Please I can't lost you John not you if I lose you my life would be meaningless."

It had been more than two years since they first met, and all this time John had been his Angel. Waking up next to him every day is the best of feelings. John almost always woke him with a kiss, and often with breakfast on bed. Kaidan didn't know you could give as much love as John gave him. Each day that passed he loved him more. The love that once he felt for Jane it could not be compare to what he felt for John, his love for John was much more immense.

He did not know how much time he spends holding his husband hand, the only thing I could do was pray for his beloved "I love you."

"Equal to or more than you love me?"

Kaidan took a deep breath, and rest John hand on the bed. He got up from his chair; he knew that sooner or later he would have to have that conversation with her. "You want me to be honest Jane?"

"Yes."

"More much more, what I once felt for you is not even a quarter of what I feel for John." Jane attempt to slap his face, but Kaidan grabbed her arm, "do not you fucking dare Shepard." He suddenly let's go of her.

"How could you do this to me? I love you"

"I did not do anything Jane, you left me."

"I die you fucking asshole."

"This asshole suffered much for you, this asshole felt his world crumble for you, but your brother pick me up, with his support, with his attentions, and yes I fell in love, knowing that it was wrong because he is your brother, but I could not help it, your brother is a wonderful man."

"You told me you will never love anyone but me."

"Damn Jane, you were dead, you wanted me to live my life crying over you."

"I want you back Kaidan," Jane tried to grab him.

"No, have a little respect for your brother."

Jane looked at John, "I want you out of my ship-"

"No," Kaidan approached her, "stop being such a girl Jane, you need us both to win this stupid war. Now leave me alone with my husband." Kaidan turned and sat in the chair, listening to her curse to him before leaving. "God John, do not leave me alone with her please ..."


	3. Chapter 3

**In this chapter Jane's point of view was very hard to do for me, so I hope you like it I really enjoy it. I wanted to write flash back of Kaidan and Jane, but as this is a male fiction I didn't do it to not bothering anyone. **

Jane entered her cabin shouting and cursing at nothing, she had never felt so angry and desperate at the same time. "Who, the hell Kaidan Alenko thinks he is to talk to me like that?" Jane asked herself aloud. She looked at his bottle of whiskey and served herself a drink; she let out a sigh after feeling the alcohol in her throat. Kaidan had changed, but the worst of all was that now she liked him even more.

She tried to control the anger she felt at this moment, she sat on the bed covering her face with her hands helplessly she began to cry. His brother was lying in that bed dying, and the man she loved was beside him, whispering all those words once he told her. She had never cried for any man, and now she could not help it, her heart was broken.

Closing her eyes, she could still see Kaidan's eyes full of passion for her. She still could hear Kaidan's moans in her ear, along with all the promises, and the words of love that he used to say to her while he makes love to her passionately. She can clearly remember how sexy and manly it was Kaidan in bed.

Jane had other love before, but none like him; she remembered how shy he used to be. How little by little he leave that shyness behind, coming out of that shell, and got her to fall in love with him madness.

She could not forget the times that Kaidan entered his cabin in secret, oh the times they were seen sneaking into the Mako. For her still hard to remember when she had to choose between him or Ashley, and how she could not resist the thought of losing him, and now she had lost him in the arms of his brother. She could not understand why fate had been so cruel to her. Why the she had to die so young, and with so many plans for the future.

Her brother is the first most important man in her life after her father died, Johnny was more than his brother he was her father figure, the father who both lost when they were still children. Jane remembered as John used to hold her at night when she had nightmares, or as John's scolding her when she brings a new boyfriend into the house.

She knew that John was gay because one day she found him making out with a man, at first she didn't understand it, but then she support him keeping his secret, than when John moved from their mother's house he took her with him because their mother was always traveling. She never interfered with any of his boyfriends, John neither interfered with any of her boyfriends she brought to their apartment, but they were afraid of him, because he always questioned them first, he was very jealous of her.

"Damn!" She wiped away her tears with rage. Kaidan didn't know with whom he is dealing.

She looked at the photo she had of Kaidan letting out another sigh. Everyone saw her as a tough woman, but inside she was and felt like any other woman. She felt frustrated, since she woke up in that bed months ago the first thing she thought was in Kaidan, each passing day she misses him more, and she wanted him badly. She looked at herself; her clothes were bloodied, so she headed to change thinking that Kaidan also had to change his close, incredibly, she was stilling worrying about him. She took a quick shower. After dressing she headed towards the med bay.

She entered the med bay Kaidan was still beside her brother. "Kaidan."

"What?"

"Go get changed, we're almost there I will stay with my brother. Takes this, is clean uniform." She held out the clothes to him watching Kaidan intently. She loves the color of his eyes; Jane always thought that Kaidan's eyes spoke for itself.

Kaidan look askance at her before grabbing the uniform, "I'll be right back."

"You can use the observation room," she sighed, "I guess when my brother returns you two needed a room; the former room of Miranda will be fine for the two of you."

Kaidan could in her eyes that she had been crying, "Jane-"

"Go Major."

Jane approached her brother; she could not deny that John was a very handsome man. She places a kiss on his cheek.

After a while Kaidan come back, she looked at him unable to take her eyes off him. Kaidan was far more handsome then before he was now more formed. The gray in his hair made him look a lot more attractive than he used to look before.

"Jane, please don't look at me that way," Kaidan said a little uncomfortable.

"Sorry, you look-"

"Shepard," Edi disembodied voice speak over the Comm.

"Yes Edi."

"We're getting to the Citadel."

"Thanks Edi, can you contact whoever is in charge of the medical care in the Citadel, to receive us at the entrance, my brother needs immediate medical attention."

"Understood Commander."

"I'll take him," Kaidan say.

Jane look at Kaidan pick his brother up, she can see the anguish in his eyes as he looked at John unconscious, and at that moment, she will give anything to take the place of her brother.

* * *

Upon entering the Citadel, the nurses were waiting for them with a stretcher Kaidan lay his husband on it. "Where did you take him?" Kaidan asks them.

"Huerta Memory the best place on the Citadel."

"We are no going with?" James asked.

Kaidan was going to say something, but Bailey interrupted him.

"Shepard."

"Lieutenant Bailey, good to see you." Jane extended her hand to him.

"Likewise, although is Commander now."

"Oh, congratulations Commander," She said a little surprised.

"I'm here to tell you that the councilors will receive you in a moment, they are busy with something at the time. You can take the opportunity to go to the hospital first."

"Commander I'll go with John, you can do what you have to do," Kaidan says.

"No, Thanks Bailey I'll go with Major Alenko, to go see the status of my brother first."

"Shepard, I'll go with Udina, I'll wait with him." Liara said.

"Okay, James."

"Oh, I 'm a tourist today I'll be by the embassy."

Kaidan went ahead with his Commander to the elevator, the tension between them was unbearable, what was estrange is to think that once he could not stand be next to her without get excited, and now, he didn't feel anything.

What he was feeling now was discomfort to feel her penetrating gaze on his back. That same look that excited him before now I was bothering him. Kaidan can't forget that once he was willing to give up everything for her. Jane used to drive him crazy with her long red hair, by now she had a little short. She used to make him feel things he thought he never will feel, and if, had not been for John he possibly still be madly in love with her. Now he just looked through the eyes of his husband, which completely won his heart.

He closed his eyes for a moment; his head was hurting a lot. He touched his forehead if he does not drink his pills, soon he would have migraine, and he wouldn't have his husband's hands to massage his temple as he always did.

"Your head hurts?"

Kaidan dared to look at her directly in her eyes, she knew him very good, "Yes."

"If you want when we return to the ship I can-'

'No, tonight I'll stay with my husband." He saw her tender gaze, become cold.

"As you wish," she said coldly

The two came out of the elevator on the way they met with Dr. Chakwas. Kaidan take the opportunity to buy a bottle of whiskey for his beloved husband, and then he met with them.

'Dr. Chakwas, how are you? "Kaidan greet the doctor.

"Very good Kaidan, I'm glad to see you. I guess you two are here for your brother Shepard." She said looking at Jane.

"Yes, how is John?" Kaidan asks her.

"He is strong, he now still unconscious, but I have faith that soon he will wake up. How you know Shepard brother Kaidan?"

Jane crossed her arms around her chest, "our shy lieutenant, who is now a Major, met my brother at my funeral, and now he shares his bed as his husband."

"Jane!"

"What I thought you two love each other," the doctor said surprise.

"We did, doctor, and I still am, but our beloved Kaidan didn't settle for a single Shepard he needed two."

"You... O my God woman, you're impossible, Doctor excuse me I'll go to see the Shepard that really interests me." Kaidan quickly turned around; the woman was going to drive him crazy. Quickly he came to John's room; it hurt to see his love in that bed. His eyes filled with tears.

Kaidan breathes deeply to see him so helpless. He approached John giving him a kiss on his lips. He was going to say something, but he felt the door open he turns around meeting with Jane. He moves away leaving her closer to John.

"Hey brother you can't leave me you have to wake up, I don't care if, it is for us to fight over this asshole that is next to me."

Kaidan roll his eyes, "Thank you."

She kissed his cheek, "fights like the great soldier you are you understand me. I love you Johnny." Kaidan felt sorry for her to see her eyes full of tears, "Jane"

"I don't need your pity Major, I will come back later."

Kaidan let out a sigh pulling the chair and sat down, then he lean his head next to John's hand. Today would be the first time in a long time that he would sleep without his husband's arms around his waist, and he had a feeling that he won't sleep much. Kaidan thought about his father, and John's mother, asking God, that keeps them safe. His parents adored John especially his mom.

It was easy to live with John, there was nothing the Kaidan asks to him the he won't please him. John always came to the apartment with something for him. "If I could change my place with you, I swear I wouldn't hesitate, for a moment, to do so. You don't know how important you are in my life my love. You don't know how much I love you, despite the fact that every morning I tell you how much I love you, you can't really imagine how big is the love I feel for you. I love the peace that reflects your face when you sleep. I'll confess something to you I don't like waking up early, maybe that is the reason why I have so bad awakening, thank you so much for every morning that you give away your first look, and smile to me and for say good morning my love. I love to watch you when you prepare the coffee for me, you care so much for mine that you forget and don't mind then you coffee get cool. You always think about me fist that you, always, and you don't know how much I love you. I need that kiss that kisses from you yesterday and today, as always that kiss you give me when I leave and when I return. When I come home tired and troubled, and you receive me with open arms, you help me, and especially you hear me, and that eases my pain." Kaidan wiped his tears before continuing.

"Today I woke up hugging you I look at you, you had your eyes closed to the light, and an open mind to the dreams, your body was completely naked, my hands seemed to have wings, they were flying towards you escaped me, and I touch you from head to toe again and again. What I love so much about us is the sometimes we don't need words to understand each other we just looked at each other and if, for something silly you and I argue we meeting up just where we are closer together, our bed. If we do well or poorly, I'm next to you and you to mine fused together like sand and lime as water of the same river. Some people don't understand this love they will just turns their back to us, but it doesn't matter, if, you and I know that when we met we decided to drop the anchor." Kaidan grabbed his hand leading it to his cheek.

"I had felt the sometimes when you wake up at midnight you look at me, and spoil me as if I were still a kid, you guess I'm feeling cold, and you give me another blanket. I like how you treat me, and I like how you love me. You are the best gift that life has given me. Your share all my things, all you can feel when you really love, at the time of delivery yours and mine where there is only one witness and silent watching us, and keep our privacy, our bed."

Kaidan turn to hear a sigh, "Liara."

"God that was beautiful when Shepard told me you were in love with her brother, I do not imagine how much."

Kaidan chuckled, "how are you Liara. I didn't have time to talk to you."

"I'm very good Kaidan, "Liara approached John bedside, "I only saw him in Shepard funeral, but when I saw him in Mars I realized how handsome he is."

Kaidan I look at Liara with suspicion, "yes he is, but he's mine." Kaidan couldn't deny that he was a jealous man, and Liara knew it because he once had a confrontation over Jane with her.

"Stay calm I just wanted to let you know that I understand you, and watch out for Shepard, she still loves you."

"I know Liara. She is behaving like a bitch. I 'm Sorry, but she do."

"I know be patient, so I guess I have a clear field to conquer her."

"Oh please if you can get her off my back I will thank you all my life."

"It's not me whom she wants, but I'll try. Tomorrow you can stay in the room that was Miranda; I'll put my stuff in the observation room."

"You know what stay in that room John and I will be fine in the observation room, I like that room."

"Okay, I'll see you on the ship; I have a lot of things to settle."

"Bye Liara we will talk later."

* * *

The next day they went in the direction of Palaven, Kaidan didn't want to leave the side of his husband, but he had no other option, they were at war, and now they had to go rescue the Palaven primary. Kaidan walk the ship, where he met Shutter Cortez the pilot; also he could greet the engineer Adam. Now Kaidan was standing in front of Jane cabin, to talk to her, and try to fix things between them. If they were going to work some time together under the same ship, it was better that get along.

He entered unannounced; Jane was coming out of the bathroom with just a towel around her. "Oh, I'm sorry, I'll wait outside for you to change," Kaidan said turning around.

Jane grabbed his arm," no, wait; you don't have to leave Kai I have nothing that you haven't seen before. "

Kaidan just stood there watching her, he does not know why he didn't leave maybe he wanted to prove himself, that he no longer felt anything for her. He saw her go to the drawer dropping the towel revealing her naked body, she was beautiful he couldn't deny that, but Kaidan didn't felt anything, the only thing he wanted at that time was that she was John.

"You want a drink Kaidan?"

"Yes, please."

Jane poured a drink for both of them, and she invite him to sit on the sofa, "what you wanted to tell me Kaidan?"

"I just wanted to make things right between us Jane. You were important to me, and I didn't want us to continue insulting each other."

Jane looked at him with sadness, "what has my brother that I don't have Kaidan?"

"Jane it's not that," Kaidan sigh sipping from his glass, "I was in hell, deep fucking hell for your death. I don't know what it would have become of me if your brother hadn't helped me."

"Kaidan -"

"No, listen to me I wanted to die Jane I miss you day and night," Kaidan saw her eyes full of tears, he dared to touch her cheek, "I used to love you immensely." He said with his eyes full of tears.

She put her glass down and grabbed his hand, "then loves me again."

"I can't I'm in love and you know very well who am in love with." Kaidan don't want to make her suffer, but he had to be honest with her.

"I don't believe you," Jane moved closer to him." What you and I live Kaidan, it was great, you just taught me to love you used to make me feel human. When I was with you nothing else mattered, now I need you more than ever. Kaidan I feel empty without you, please leave my brother, he will understand and return to me."

Kaidan had never seen his Commander cry, and beg as she was doing now; he felt a great pain because for most the she begged him he could not please her. "I'm sorry I love John."

"Shut up!" Jane got up moving away from him. "I don' understand how you could forget me so easily." She said shakily.

Kaidan finished his drink, and put the glass on the table then went up to her, "that's what you think? That I met your brother, and once I forget about you. No, ask John how many times he found me drunk with your photo next to me. I needed you Jane, I almost kill Joker that day that I didn't see you in the emergency pod. Damnit that day my world collapsed."

"Kaidan, what I'll do now with so much love?" She said hugging him.

Kaidan let her crying cuddle on his shoulder, "you are very beautiful, take a chance with someone who loves you."

"I want you Kaidan," she said bringing his lips to Kaidan's

For a second Kaidan get carried away, and then quickly move away from her, "no."

"Get out," Jane yelled pointing out towards the door.

"Jane pleases don't do this lest talk."

"Get the hell out Kaidan."

Kaidan left the cabin, only in time to hear when the glass hit the door. He knew at the time, his life would be hell inside that ship.

* * *

Palaven was chaos, but that was not the worst thing Kaidan thought, the worst was to see Jane everywhere without covering her back. The Jane he remembered used to be a careful woman in the battlefield, but now it seemed as if she wasn't afraid of death.

Kaidan reached Garrus as they walked toward the camp. "Garrus."

"Yes Kaidan."

"What happens to Shepard? She wasn't so careless in the battlefield."

"You happen, Kaidan."

"Me Garrus-"

"How could you do that to her, and with his brother?" Garrus said angrily.

"Oh, my God no you too Garrus, you saw me suffer for her. She was dead, end of the story. Kaidan said a little uncomfortable, he was getting tired of accusatory looks that some of his friends gave him.

"You really love that man Kaidan because I witnessed myself how you and Shepard loved each other."

"Garrus, I marry Shepard's brother."

Oh, spirits Kaidan this is going to be hell inside the Normandy."

"It already hell Garrus I try talk to her last night in I think I make thing worse."

"Hey you two stop talking and move your asses," Yell Jane

"You know what Kaidan I think it'll be safer for me here in Palaven the in the Normandy with her-"

"Don't you fucking dare Garrus!"

After arriving at the camp and find Victus Kaidan couldn't deny that Shepard had a peculiar way of convincing people. For a moment, he thought that Victus was going to say no, but she convinced him.

Then in the Shutter he tries to talk to her. He doesn't love her anymore, but he didn't want anything to happen to her, so he tries to make some sense into her. "Jane how you convinced Victus it wasn't the best way, but I can't deny that you're great you always get what you want."

Jane looked at Kaidan with intensity before approaching him, "I know Kaidan I always get what I want."

Kaidan tried to ignore her words, "well said, the way you behave on the battlefield it wasn't appropriate, you were careless, and I don't want anything to happen to you."

"So you do care about me Major?" Jane said running her finger down his armor.

Kaidan look at Garrus for a moment that was looking at him with shame." I do Jane I am your friend," words wrong he thought, but he realized that too late.

"I don't want to be your damn friend Kaidan so save your concern for yourself."

"Jane-"

'Is Shepard for you Major Alenko Shepard?"

"You are impossible Shepard; you don't understand you put your life at risk and us too." Kaidan look at Garrus, "Garrus back me up on this."

"Well, Shepard he is right."

"Shut up Vakarian, don't take his side, you're my friend."

"Shepard, you two are my friends, and Kaidan is right, you can't kill all. We are here to watch your back, but you act like if you were alone. "

"Oh, fuck you, you too, I'm Commander Shepard nobody has to tell me how I should or should not act on the battlefield," She said going to the front with Cortez.

Kaidan and Garrus looked at each other, "you were the only one who could control her, and she used to listen to you, now who could control her?"

"I know who, my husband."

After reaching the Normandy Kaidan was filling his report when he received a message from his husband.

_Kaidan._

_Hey handsome, I'm up. I guess you must be very worried about me, but I want to let you know that I'm fine, and I'm dying to see you. I hope you are well, and alive I have fear that my sister kills you by now. There's something that I love to talk to you about, Udina came here he want to make me specter, but I'm not sure. I miss you Kaidan, Please tell my sister that I want to see you both ,if she can come back to the Citadel, the doctors say I can't go yet, but I don't want to stay here I need to be with you two._

_I love you baby._

_Your husband, John._

_John_

_You don't know the joy I feel to know you're okay? I'm still alive, well almost; your sister is driving me crazy. I'm dying to see you too. I did not want to leave you, but I didn't have choice, your sister needs me on the ship, but the truth is I don't know if she needs me to help her or to insult my. I will let her know that you are awake, to beg her to go down to the Citadel, but knowing her she is able to delay the trip there, only to annoy me. I love you._

_Your husband, Kaidan._

"Kaidan."

Kaidan closed its onmitool, "yes Commander."

"You finished the report?"

"No yet."

"I need that report Major."

"I'm almost done. Kaidan left his data- pad at his side, then get up from the couch going toward her, "Your brother is awake, and he want to see us. You think you ca-"

"No."

"Please Shepard is your brother too. Don't you want to see him?" Kaidan didn't want to sound desperate, but he is dying to see John.

"You're so desperate to see my brother, Major?" She said touching his lips.

He walked away from her, "not so desperate." Kaidan put his hands to his waist, shaking his head," you know, if, I had known what kind of bitch you really are I I would never dared to put my eyes on you."

She approached him, "I will not allow you to-"

"Shut the fuck up Jane, you are not acting like a Commander, you're acting like a woman scorned and bitter," Kaidan yell at her. Kaidan wasn't a man to lose control so easily, but she was leading him to the limit.

"I'm not going to listen to you."

Jane turns around, but Kaidan grabbed her arm, "you're going to listen to me, I'm your superior, and I'll give the order to Joker myself."

"You'll use your rank in my Major Alenko? I don't think you have the balls to-"

"Joker," Kaidan call him over the Comm

"Yes Kaidan."

"Joker as the senior officer of the Normandy I command you to put course toward the Citadel."

"Joker does not you dare," Jane warned him.

"Joker does what I say now, if you want to keep your job."

"Sorry Shepard, you are the Commander, but he over range you now, I'm force to obey him."

Jane looked at Kaidan angrily, "I fucking hate you," she yell at him.

Kaidan laughed, "oh really, thank God, perhaps like that you stop harassing me, now get the hell out, so I can finish your damn report Commander," Kaidan said sitting down on the couch and listening to her storming out of the room.

"Hey Kaidan."

"Yes Joker."

"Nice I really like this new you."

"Me too ..."

* * *

John was looking up at the ceiling boringly. He missed Kaidan madly, and also he was worried about his sister. Jane wasn't right. He just had a fight with the doctor about let him out of the hospital, she say no, but John won't take a not for an answer.

"Hey handsome."

John looked toward the door, "Oh, baby." Kaidan immediately approached him and kissing him intensely. John put his hand around him responding to the kiss with the same intensity. "Uhm if you are going to kiss me like that every time someone hurt me, I hope I get hurt more often."

"Do not say that John." Kaidan walked away from him grabbing the chair and sat on it then he grabbed John's hand," it was terrible to see you lying on the floor."

"It was a joke my love."

"Do you are feeling Okay?"

"Yes, my implants were hurt a little, but it was only that. I miss you love."

"I miss you too John more than you think."

John could see dark circles in his eyes. "That Bad?"

"Oh, John you have no idea, she's driving me crazy," Kaidan said kissing his hand.

John realizes that there was something else, "what you are not telling me?"

"Nothing loves."

"Kaidan you and I have enough time together, so I can tell when you're hiding something from me."

"John -"

"What did she do?" Briefly John heard his husband tell him how his sister kisses him. "She did what?"

"John calm down."

"I'm coming back to the ship with you today -"

"You can't-"

"The hell I can't! I won't leave you another minute alone with her. Go and sign where you have to sign so I can get out of here."

"Hey brother," Jane said from the door.

John looked at Kaidan who paled, "Kaidan go do what I told you to do."

"John, you need medical attention."

"The doctor of the Normandy can take care of me perfectly. Kaidan Go." John demanded.

"Okay I'll be right back."

John looked at his sister," Jane came close."

Jane approached his brother, "I'm glad to see you-"

Suddenly John grabbed her sister's arm, "how the hell did you dare to kiss my husband.

"He kisses me back, for a second, but he did."

"Who are you Jane? Because, you can't be my sister what the hell Cerberus brought back?"

"Johnny how can you say that?"

"Say what?" John let go at her and tried to control himself, "I prefer to think that you are a VI the look like my sister to think that you truly are my sister, and you're able to do something as low as that to me. What happen to my sister?"

"Your sister died John, and then come back to life this goddamn life, where the man I love is fucking my brother, so forgive me if I'm not the same anymore. My death was very hard John, you ... you don't know what it is to fighting for some air, and know that in the next second you'd be dead. I... Kaidan was the last thing I thought, and the first thing I thought when I woke up, and you my own brother, it taken the only reason I had to return from the war alive. "

John looked at her with sadness and pity. "Sister I'm sorry but you need to understand that we thought you were dead and now ... Kaidan does not love you anymore." John saw the look of sadness on her becoming angry, and he knew that look because both thought and felt about the same. John knew that if he were in her place, he would have felt the same frustration because they fell in love with a wonderful man. John at that time felt the need to get up and hug his sister, but he couldn't do it, not because he felt physically weak, but because he had to be hard on her, to make her understand.

"You know what, fuck you John, and fuck him."

"Jane!" John saw her leave the room quickly; he could see the pain and tears in her eyes before she left.

"John I'm so sorry, I am the cause of the contention between you and her maybe –"

'Don't you dare think about leaving me, because my sister can't understand that what happens between you two end." John said trying to hold back the tears, "please I need you."

Kaidan immediately leaned back besides her hugging him, "don't worry you coming back with me take it easy, so you can talk to her later."

"What happened to my sister Kaidan? She's not my sister." John could not think, that there was nothing more left of that sweet girl that used to cradle in his arms when she had nightmares. Jane was his beloved girl, and he adored her. He recalls how in the cold nights he entered her bedroom to make sure she wasn't feeling cold. Since his father died he became like a father to her sister.

"John look at me," John did, "she's your sister John, but she's not the same, we have to understand that for us was two years and for he only one day past when she woke up, so we will have to adapt to this new woman." Kaidan kiss his lips tenderly.

"I don't regret falling in love with you; you're the best thing that happened to me in my life." John said looking at him with his gaze full of love. He didn't want Kaidan to feel worse than what he was feeling with that situation.

"And you in mine. Now tell me about Udina..."


End file.
